In the car rental business it is not uncommon that a customer will react negatively to whatever vehicle is offered to them. The complaints vary; often someone will remark that the car is too small for their liking, or not as nice as they are used to. In either case, they can often be placated with a little discount and a friendly stroll around the vehicle where they can check out all the fun new gadgets and gizmos with which most new cars are equipped. However, there’s one vehicle that confounds customers and myself alike, because it lacks just about any modern convenience that one would expect on a rental. Its barebones construction makes it seem primitive compared to just about anything else you’ll find in a rental fleet.

I’m talking of course about the Mitsubishi Mirage. The complaints about the Mirage are nearly as abundant as bird droppings in a forest. Quips about the car’s size and appearance plop right out of peoples’ mouths with remarkable speed once they see the thing. Then, like the slimy little decomposers crawling the forest floor who break that dung down into something of use, we have to shine the little turd up and convince our customers that it could work for them. Because, in spite of its flaws, the Mirage does its duty as a passenger car admirably. Although it has somewhat limited functionality, the car possesses some admirable qualities beneath its shiny plastic veneer.

The Mirage admittedly suffers from the many of the same drawbacks of every car in its class. Immediately noticeable is that the interior is remarkably cheap. The doors, dashboard and center console are made of a hard plastic that is not very pleasing to the touch. It’s disappointing really, because a number of vehicles which go for a similar price, the Nissan Versa or Ford Fiesta for instance, utilize a nicer sort of soft-touch plastic throughout most of their interiors. These plastic laden interiors always amaze me with the way they crack and vibrate when the car hits any small bump in the road. Unfortunately, the effect is intensified in the Mirage due to its tight suspension, low ride height and tiny 14 inch tires.

Besides the creaking of the interior, the Mirage is a bit noisy in general. Road noise seems to seep right through the doors and glass as if no attention had been paid to sound-proofing the car. At highway speeds, the Mirage is certainly among the noisiest cars that I have driven. This is so true in fact, that I would recommend avoiding long interstate trips altogether while driving the Mirage. While the car is unpleasant to drive at high speeds, it performs much better when tasked with navigating city streets at slower speeds. The car’s stiff suspension and short wheelbase make it easy to perform tight turns and navigate easily through narrow streets and parking lots. Although the road noise is much more bearable while travelling at city speeds, there is still a fair amount of noise to contend with from the car’s engine.

By industry standards, the Mirage’s engine really shouldn’t be as loud as it is. Its 1.2L three-cylinder engine is as small as it gets. The Chevy Spark, for instance, is equipped with an almost inaudible 1.4L four-cylinder engine, while the slightly-higher class Nissan Versa’s 1.6L four-cylinder is as quiet an engine I’ve ever heard. The Mirage may as well be a drag car in comparison. The noise of the engine is audible all the way through the rev range; beginning at a low grumble, it reaches the peak of its crescendo at the upper limits of its impressive 6,500 RPM rev range. Our customers hate the noises the car makes, which is completely understandable, because once the needle moves past 4,000 RPMs the car makes a hellacious racket. At these high RPMs you can only lift your foot off the gas and hope for a gear change, because the noise is much more bearable at lower RPMs. In fact, that’s where I think the car really shines.

As previously stated, the Mirage performs admirably within the city, even compared with its class competitors. Its gas mileage is rated at 38 miles per gallon in the city, which surpasses both the Chevrolet Sonic and Fiat 500 by ten MPG. Have no doubt both cars best the Mirage in horsepower, but a difference of a couple dozen horses hardly makes a difference for the kind of driving the car is best suited for: low-speed, low-rpm city driving. Even if the car is a nuisance to the rear and ears at higher speeds, it has something more pleasing to offer when driven with restraint.

The noise which is so unbearable at highway speed is actually quite pleasant when kept restricted. The 3-cylinder engine puts out a low grumble that is unique among any car I have ever driven. The note put forth from the exhaust seems to oscillate in arrhythmic patterns that sound more akin to a boxer engine than the inline and v-configuration engines most people are used to hearing. In addition to its unique sound, the noise from the engine provides a tangible, audible response to the driver’s inputs. Changes in throttle position are met with distinct auditory responses from the car that, in combination with its light, barebones construction, provide a tight, tactile driving experience that is hard to find in modern cars — especially rentals.

While the fundamentally barebones construction of the Mirage may elicit a reasoned response from car enthusiasts, rental car customers just don’t care for it. It is a car with a singular purpose, after all. Most rental customers have needs that extend beyond having a quaint little car in which they may puttputt around the city. A purpose-built car like the Mirage will undoubtedly have trouble competing with the generalists of its class. It’ll be frowned on for being cheap, plasticy, loud and ugly. It doesn’t have the cuteness of the 500 or the brand power of the Sonic or Yaris. Instead, the Mirage has a purpose. It is a specialist that exists in an era when cars are expected to do it all. If it is the last of a dying breed, may it die with the dignity of performing a job well done.